I’m starting to pack up now. i can’t even concentrate so many thoughts are going through my head. I want to go but I don’t at the same time. This is all I really know and like many others I cling to what is familiar. 

I wish I could see what could have happened but at the same time it’s not part of the plans and I am a firm believer that whatever is suppose to happen will happen. Maybe it was a helpful reminder of what I should like. 

i’m going crazy in my room with all my shit sprawled out everywhere. I am having a mini breakdown.