Stressing so hard… but honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way. I feel like under much stress I think clearly, I question things constantly, and I harass myself in my head.

After March 1st I’m taking a vacation, I don’t know where to yet, I really don’t care as long as I can just breathe calmly for a couple days. I’m also tired of grinding my teeth at night, by jaw is hurting so bad lately. Apparently I’m a teeth grinder when I’m stressed. I would rather have that than those eye twitches. Those are the worst.

“You laugh. I’m not saying I don’t cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.” Garden State

Instead of crying at convenient times, like when I’m by myself when I can just be alone with everything… I choose the most horrible times to cry. It may be one of the most frustrating things that I do to myself. Crying is incredibly satisfying.

Nothing seems to make sense at the moment, yet I know exactly what I want and what I need to get done. I can’t explain it.

A day trip to SF is in order. Sooner rather than later.

I spent 4 hours on a print today… and I haven’t felt this proud of myself. It was great and I feel satisfied. It cancels out almost crying in my bathroom because I couldn’t get the film on the reel, printing on the wrong side of the paper, and feeling dumb because I don’t understand percentages and working those equations in my head…. even on a calculator I couldn’t figure it out! I served my time in math classes… I want nothing to do them anymore!

You know those days when you feel like no matter how many times someone explains something to you in so many different ways you still can’t understand them? haha.

This post was complaining. All complaining. I apologize… I really do!

To end this on a good note…

Tomorrow will be a better day. :)